budduhns and midduhns

4 12 2009

The snow blower won’t start.  We can’t find the car scrapers buried in the junk piled in the garage.  Of course.  There are 100 school closings and this is the first snow we’ve had.  There is 8″ piled on the deck rail with another 3″ on the way.  The Beast thinks she died and went to doggie heaven.  She rolls in it.  She prances and leaps like she’s a reindeer or something.  She glups down mouth fulls.  She won’t come in the house.

The forecast says the next 8 days will be below average temps and above average precipitation -finishing the doom and gloom by saying “have a nice weekend.”  The gall…

There are six rooms to paint at Shop Girl’s new digs.  SIX!  Next Saturday is move in day.  Somewhere in all this in-between I have to get down to the Mrs.’ and make sure she’s OK.

The upside is that our unfinished landscaping projects in the front of the house (and the back for that matter) are cleverly disguised for the time being.  I feel less shame now not being assaulted by the gorgeous green of the neighbors re-seeded lawn. There will be another Spring right?

It’s a perfect lake effect snowfall.  Clinging to every branch – gently stacked on every horizontal surface.  It could make for some really great pictures.  Seriously, I’m trying my best to find every positive spin to put on my present reality.  Midduhns and budduhns.  Bud-duhns and mid-duhns.  This ain’t LA.

Best Boy and Mimi drove back to the sunshine, Santa Anas and shooters.  He was at the office yesterday when they got word to lock down the facility because there was a gunman loose in the neighborhood after a robbery.  Two days ago I found myself checking facebook every few hours to see pictures of their roadtrip.  Would they run into bad weather?  Would the car run well?  Would they be awake enough for all the driving?  Knowing they were back in LA, I took myself off the worry hook.  Stupid me…they live in LA!

I’m trying to be a grown up about this season…this season of life and this particular season of the year.  It is messy.  It is gray.  There is barely enough time between storms to catch my breath.  I wasn’t prepared for this much this fast. I’ll do better focusing on the big picture.  It won’t last forever.  It will melt.  Things will change.  There will be blue skies again.

Thanks Mimi for being such a great hand model during our photo shoot of the Mitten State.  Sorry you missed seeing it in all its glory.  Maybe you should go over the pronunciation guide before you come back.

I’ve seen the light…

8 02 2009

dsc_0011The sun was out today for a little bit but the temps were stellar and melted all the snow.  I stood staring at the bright orbe thinking it would fix me then I realized that tomorrow night is a full moon.  The gravitational pull has me horizontally attached to the couch.  Sleep only comes best in the early hours of dawn.  I am a lunatic.  Then just for fun I self-diagnosed via WIKI.  I swear I have DSPS and so does Best Boy – they say there is a genetic link. BTW – do you know what the picture is of?

i think i can…i think i can…

29 01 2009


It is snowing again.  Another 3″ expected today and highs in the 20ºs and we are still in January.  The weatherman said last night that this has been the coldest January in I don’t know how many years and was teasing us with February.  Comparing those coldest first months to what we might have in store next month – some were 10ºs warmer (please God, yes!) but a bunch were 10ºs colder than normal (please God, no!) and on the tease went.

These little crocus candles, tucked under a shelf at the boutique Shop Girl is babysitting while her boss is in India for two weeks, caught my eye yesterday. I know there is something going on beneath the piles of snow in the yard. There are things happening – all is not dead.  It just feels that way about now.  We just have to hang on.  I know we don’t live in Alaska.  I know I complain alot but there is a certain reality to dealing with this day after day with just hints of sunshine (like two days ago – even if it was a high of 18º.)

There is life happening all around me and I can be encouraged.  A good friend is starting a huge new chapter in life leaving the likes of Washington, D.C. for a small farming town in southern Ohio.  A new house, a new job…a new start.

We are still waiting to hear whether or not the filming permits get in on time from Lansing that will determine if the adventure for Shop Girl will or won’t be a reality. Waiting…poised, ready to spring into “shopping” mode when the light turns green.

And I got a new lease on life with a new toy…it holds a power all its own.  It makes the pictures but I have to see them first.  I’ve got to look close and see things differently.  Find the special in the ordinary – the joy in the mundane.

On the brink of February, I choose to remember that in Spain all the almond trees will blossom.  It was one of my favorite things to see. Maybe I will see something just as spectacular right outside my window in a few weeks.

ode to a michigan winter

23 01 2009

pict0286For the last two days, the vast gray expanse of the northern sky has been like the weight of an iceberg on my chest.  This isn’t unfamiliar territory by any means.  You can’t live in these parts and not be affected.  Seasonal Affective Disorder is a reality to be dealt with as surely as the danger of falling icicles. The temps have been around 28º but we are headed back down to the teens for the next few days along with more snow.

I took this picture almost a year ago.  But today, we don’t even have enough sun to cause the hint of glint on that ice.  Icicles are hanging in the same spot though.  No shadows – just gray.  I know it won’t last forever.  I know winter will fade into spring. I know personal circumstances won’t weigh this much every day.  I know…I know…I know…

There was a time a few years ago that the river downtown flash froze over night. Seeing it as I walked from the parking lot to the hotel in the dark of pre-dawn was surreal.  No ice skating there – it was like the surface of the moon with waves and dips frozen in time – all choppy and rough.  It caused quite a mess till nature did what nature does and the melt began.

Maybe these days are for a purpose.  Maybe the imposed hybernation is necessary for some reason I’ll never know.  Days where it seems like all movement gets frozen.  Is it the numbing I mind?  Or is it that underneath the surface of the freeze, my mind is still rushing like the currents that lay on the river bottom?

The ice fisherman are in their glory with their little huts dotting another frozen lake just a mile away.  There are those who find a different kind of joy in this space.  I do admire them.  I do see the beauty.

But today is heavy.  I am alone.  So rarely alone that all the time I’m not alone, I daydream about what I might do and accomplish when I am alone.  By the shear force of my will, I’ll get up and do something small and hope it leads to some inner stream of great energy like the never ending flow toward the sea. Or not. What time does the Ellen DeGeneres Show start?