too homesick to write

22 12 2008

It’s been a hard day – a hard month – a hard year.  But today in particular for no reason that I can put my fingers on – it’s a hard day.  The Dr. and I were talking about it and Christmas just isn’t our time of year anymore. Three years ago it was spent in the hospital with Best Boy, two years ago it was being shown the door from one job into the unknown. Things like that have a way of marking the Holidays for a good long time to follow.  

The foot of snow outside with more on the way isn’t helping matters much. Especially as we try to figure out our strategy of getting down to see the Mrs. for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  It feels like I’m playing pretend.

It probably doesn’t help much that we locked in some dates in March to go to a friend’s wedding in Spain.  Just knowing we are going has this effect on us.  I spent some time on YouTube listening to the Christmas carols called villancicos that sounded like the season to my ears.  And today was the biggest lottery day with El Gordo…I remember hearing that on the BBC during the middle of the night. 

I’m sure if I were back there I’d only be wishing I were here.  I am here – sort of.  I got lots of laundry done today and cleaned my oven yesterday.  The Dr. thought I was going to die because he said that would be something I’d do with that final burst of energy.  Ha!

Anyway, then I stumbled on this clip from last year’s Christmas lights in Madrid.  I know I won’t feel this bad every day – it’s just today.  So humor me some.  If you have never lived somewhere else it is hard to understand how halved your soul becomes.