table for one, please

21 09 2008

Tentatively she asked, “Can you seat me at a table for one?”  Without hestitating the young waiter at the Dynasty Buffet ushered her over to the same booth they had shared so many Sundays together.  It wasn’t until the end of the meal that she dared explain knowing full well that if she attempted it earlier, she’d not be able to eat because of the lump in her throat.

This week has been that for her – doing some of the hard work of being on her own. Once she gets some of these things out of the way for the first time, the easier they will be the next time around. But they take tremendous amounts of courage.  She surprises me.  I am so proud and so sad at the same time.

She says that she often finds herself talking to someone in the next room only to discover there is no one there.  She’s still thinking the dog is making noise and Saint Skye’s been gone for a year and was only a freeloader for 17 years.  Imagine the adjustment time after sidekicking it for 60 years.

Funny that I often find myself in such an opposite place in life where I rarely get one or two hours totally alone in the house – no Cali Squatter, no Director Boy, no Dr.  I can barely contain myself when it does happen.  Guess I’d better reconsider what I wish for…

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3 responses

21 09 2008
Neenah

A beautiful piece and a beautiful photo, too.

21 09 2008
1eyedmonkee

Thanks, N. After I took the pic – no one was really watching – but right after, sick boy had to order Chinese carry-out! HA. The vibe was in the air.

22 09 2008
Amy Jo

It kills me to know that she’s having to do that, but yet, I’m so incredibly proud of her. Having traveled alone in Europe for a month on my own, I can remember being in that weird place – on a whole other continent, all alone, but SO hungry I knew I had to say those same words. You worry about what other people will think and all those stares of pity – then you realize, who cares?! This is life and when you’re hungry, you learn to take that leap of faith and get that dreaded “table for one”. Sure, you miss the conversation, but it’s in those times that God becomes the silent partner in that dinnertime conversation. I pray God continues to bless her with the courage to step out and find a new kind of life.

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