Saturday comes before Sunday

7 09 2008

Saturday evening…and I’m barely thinking about what comes next.  But that is just me.  When I’d spoken to her on the phone hours earlier she told me what she’d be wearing to church the next day.  Yikes…and when I walked into the house she had her dad’s ancient jewelry polishing cloth out.  She was going over and over her pearls.  Next thing I knew she was in the bathroom putting them on.  Before she went to bed…so that she didn’t have to fuss with them in the morning.  Double yikes!

I heard her moving around about 7 a.m.  – the closets share a wall and I could hear the hangers screeching as she dug out what she wanted.  And by 8:30 or so she was pacing  – checking the locks on the doors, finding her purse, etc. Naturally, I wasn’t quite ready…this town doesn’t have the traffic issues that I’m used to and I wasn’t thinking about what to wear – option one (what I slept in, drove in and have been wearing for two or three days – I’ve lost count) or option two (the clothes still in the trunk of my car that aren’t very different from option one but clean).

So I took an extra 3 minutes to brush my teeth and comb my hair. I was ready.  No pearls.  I looked at the clock and it was a full 45 minutes before the service started.  I didn’t want that much socializing but she’d been gearing up for it for a full week and was already out sitting in the passenger’s seat of my car.  Triple yikes.

We weren’t two steps inside the church and she was approached by a half dozen people sharing their condolences and asking how she was doing.  She didn’t think the music would get to her but one of the songs was the last one he mouthed all the words to lying in a hospice bed, eyes closed, no vocalization – just mouthing the words as the chaplain strummed his guitar.  We’ll never hear it again without thinking about that scene. Then there was communion and all I could think about was the last time I’d taken it was with him and 12 others in the livingroom.  Wasn’t that three years ago? 

Both we left church there were three things added to her social calendar for this week alone.  Busy lady.  We followed up with an outing to a place I’d been to countless times and she’d never stepped foot in.  Soup and sandwich.  Time for a nap before we start on homework.  Practicing penmanship with a stack of thank you notes for food or memorial gifts.  She was anxious to get them done – it’s been weighing on her mind. Mission accomplished.  

If only the rest of this process could be knocked out in an hour on a Sunday afternoon.  It’s good for me to remember that there is knowledge and experience to be gained in the journey.  In the journey …Baby steps.  Sunday first – then Monday…