porch with a view

5 09 2008

I was glad to be home today to help out with some rather urgent and timely errands.  It felt good – I didn’t think much.  When I got home I decided to sit on my porch with some coffee instead of a nap and it was highly entertaining.  

Mark and Kathy took the kids camping again this weekend with the pop-up.  They’ve done little weekend jaunts all summer long.  Ted was power washing his driveway till someone in a big pick up stopped by and they jawwed on the porch with a beer.  The college girls in the rental across the street got out their – I haven’t a clue what it’s called but if you like NASCAR and college football you’ll know – the bean bag and board game.  Then it was time for work and they took off.  

As soon as they could see the tailpile disappearing down the street –  the college guys in the rental house next door to the girls came and borrowed the beanbag thingy from their porch.  The boarder collies walked by acting all perfect and not hyper…but the other little new buddy in their house didn’t know how to walk a straight line on a leash to save her little yorkie soul – bow and all.  

It’s a perfect late summer / early fall day in Michigan – the kind that makes me love this state as long as I don’t think about what comes after.  Mornings are crispy and the tops of some trees are starting to fade.  I know when the weather is  really starting to change by how my Berner likes to be out on the porch for hours at a time without whining.  I haven’t showered yet today and won’t for a while…it makes me think I’m not working.  And in ten minutes I’m going to a movie with the Dr. 

Mom had an exciting day today too.  She called me about mid-morning to tell me she was going to go get her hair cut and didn’t want me to worry if I called the house and she wasn’t around.  I asked her to call me when she got home.   I hadn’t heard by 3 p.m and was getting curious.  She’d just come in  and she said –  I wouldn’t recognize her.  Oh my… did she dye her hair?  No, just the perm she’d been thinking about getting before the funeral but she was too afraid it would come out too wonky.  She likes it just fine and she’s happy.  I’ll see it for myself tomorrow and let you know.

There is a certain kind of anxiousness in my soul…maybe it’s just really anticipation.  I’m a bit jealous of watching people having “normal” days.  My life doesn’t feel normal yet.  I’m not winding down on the inside yet – that spring was wound pretty tight. And at the same time I’m entering into my favorite time of year – when I usually have the most energy.  

After moving so many times in our lives (like some 22 times I think), I’ve learned that it always takes a while for things to feel right.  New routines, new stores, new routes here and there.  Maybe that is what my insides are feeling.  I’m on the other side of the move – waiting for the dust to settle.  There is nothing to be ungrateful about…this process of dying was slow in coming and peaked fairly quickly.  The drama was there but it’s over.  Like moving day – lots of boxes, lots of chaos, lots of feeling lost and overwhelmed but now I just need to get at the business of getting things put in their new location.  

I’ll settle into this new routine with time.  It’ll get comfortable and familiar like an old shoe.That will be the new norm – and before you know it, those kids will be moving out from the rentals across the street and a new batch will move in for another school year – and I’ll wonder what I did all year.